When Are You Getting Married?

IIIrd Tyme Out sings the best personal ad ever, bluegrass gospel-style. So, when are you getting married?

What am I gonna do with you people?

On the one hand, you're wise as serpents (as Matthew 10:16 has it) -- wiser, even. I tell you all these things about who God is, why He does what He does, what He wants from you, how to give it to Him, and what will happen if you don't, and you're so wise that you don't believe me. Contemporary culture will tell you otherwise, but that level of mistrust will save your life -- your eternal life, I mean.

In this, you're following Jesus' example. As John writes, "Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man." (John 2:23-25)

Good, good, good. I'm relieved to see that you're not gullible. In this, again, you follow Jesus. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (II Timothy 1:7, KJV)

I'm human and, eventually, I'll fail you, so you know you can't trust me. You know there's a God. At the very least, you badly want Him to exist. You might even want a relationship with Him. If you thought there was some alternative, you wouldn't even be here.

So what do you people do?

You avoid Him like the plague.

Let me put this politely: That's not smart.

John 8 finds Jesus tussling with the Pharisees again. "He said to them, 'You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am he you will die in your sins.' So they said to him, 'Who are you?' Jesus said to them, 'Just what I have been telling you from the beginning. I have much to say about you and much to judge, but he who sent me is true, and I declare to the world what I have heard from him.'" (verses 23-26)

It's the continuation of an argument that begins in the previous chapter. "About the middle of the feast Jesus went up into the temple and began teaching. The Jews therefore marveled, saying, 'How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?' So Jesus answered them, 'My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.'" (John 7:14-18, emphasis mine)

Why worry whether some human is leading you astray when you can go to the Bible yourself and find out? When you can go to God Himself and find out? If you go to Him in prayer, tell Him you want to do His will, and ask Him to help you avoid false teachers, He'll show you His will for you, and keep you on the right path. Like I keep telling you, He's God; He doesn't have to keep throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. He knows exactly what He wants from you, and exactly how to steer you right.

That's exactly why we're made the way we're made. We are literally created so that His Holy Spirit can live in us, and we can have an intimate relationship with Him.

Maybe that's what's got you so skittish.

We're not just made to have that intimate relationship with God; our brains are wired to crave it. Most of us have spent our lives trying to satisfy that craving with a series of less-than-fulfilling relationships, platonic and romantic.

Don't get me wrong: Friendship, romance, sex, and marriage are God-given. Pursued according to His will, they can be transcendent. In fact, Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

You think that's intense, try this: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31-32)

Paul elaborates on this mystery in Colossians 1:24-27, "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

Those Scriptures point to how our earthly relationships are supposed to work, as long as we follow Jesus' advice that, "whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them." (Matthew 7:12)

When we look out for number one, treat the other like some fantasy figure instead of another human being, or when we get that kind of treatment, we suffer deep, lasting feelings of anguish, loss, betrayal, frustration, failure, confusion, rejection, even violence. Sometimes, these things happen to us over and over again and, while the people and circumstances look different, the outcome is always the same.

And then, this God says things like this to us:

"The steadfast love of God endures all the day." (Psalm 52:1)

"When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine. Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God." (Ezekiel 16:8-14)

"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings." (Hosea 6:6)

"[R]end your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster." (Joel 2:13)

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:31a-32)

"... neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!" (Luke 12:22-24)

"[D]o not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

God says all those things to us in spite of the fact that, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." (Jeremiah 1:5a). He says those things, despite this: "O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether." (Psalm 139:1-4)

Dumpster breath? Unwanted hair? The things you've done? The things you want to do? The things nobody else on earth knows? God knows all those things, and He still loves you.

I've talked a lot about your responsibilities to yourself, your fellow humans, your fellow Christians, and God Himself. Indeed, your responsibilities don't disappear just because God loves you. After all, what kind of person would you be if, showered with all His love, you still acted like Satan's BFF? 

Well, some people might get married out of responsibility, but it's never, ever why they fall in love.

Bingo!

The prevailing cultural trend toward adultolescence forces me to clarify that love is not what happens when some super-cute someone says, "Hi" to you.

The rest of you understand that love can't happen unless you first get to know the other party. Think about how that happens when you're really attracted to someone: You want to know everything about them. You think about them constantly. You want to be with them all the time. When it's mutual, you both act on those feelings.

If you want to know God, you establish the relationship the same way: You talk to Him all the time through prayer. You find out everything there is to know about Him by absorbing His word like a sponge, which helps you talk to Him because it gives you a more intimate familiarity with Him. To know Him is to love Him -- for real. But, that's me talking again.

You say you've done all that?

Great. So, when are you two crazy kids gonna tie the knot?

Here's IIIrd Tyme Out with "He Said If I Be Lifted Up".